Question
My lighting in Max looks too bright or too dark using photometric lighting objects
Answer
1 - Check the model units and the distance from surfaces
2 - Check the brightness of your lights (100watt bulb is roughly the same as 140 candelas)
3 - Check your exposure settings, use a preset to get a ballpark EV value (8 - interiors, 14 - exteriors)
4 - Check your indirect lighting and final gather (if using mental ray)